Oklahoma Dating Scene

Hi everyone, how's it going? Welcome back to my blog. Let me bring you up to speed as to what has been happening for the last couple of weeks. I did go out again with that girl but nothing too serious happened and then a few days later I got this long ass email from her about how I wasn't her type and how she still had some unresolved feelings for her ex boyfriend and blah blah blah all the typical shit new girls say to you when they are blowing you off. I really hate getting emails like that from people. I talk to her all the time on MSN and she had never emailed me before so as soon as I got the little popup window thingy telling me I had an email from her, I knew something was wrong. Anyways, another one bites the dust, enough about her. On a lighter note, I have been running almost everyday and I am getting back into really good shape and my legs are feeling nice and strong now. I figure within another 2 weeks I will be ready to take the physical course at work and get back on the job full time. I still have some weakness in my leg after I exercise for long periods of time.

I got a bit bummed out when that girl broke it off with me. I got depressed for a few days and I stopped messaging people and just moped around the house for a few days. Then I was walking to the store to buy something and I saw this smoking hot chick walk out in front of me. She had the most amazing ass ever and I was thinking, I want some of that so it kind of jump started me again to get back on the wagon so I went home and spent a few hours going through the online dating site and sending out lots of messages to new women on there of all shapes and sizes. That worked out well however I should have been more selective in the girls I was messaging though because I got a few that are not really that hot that replied back and now I have to blow them off and I hate having to do that because I always feel guilty. I know I shouldn't, I know I should be more objective about it but that is not my style. I can't help but get emotional when it comes to things like this. Well let me tell you about one girl that did reply and is very hot and who I took out on a date on Saturday. I figured that starting by meeting her for coffee would be the best route.

I told her to meet me at 3pm at this cool coffee place here in Oklahoma called Bourbon Street Cafe. The place is really neat inside and I would much rather hit up one of those places than go and sit in a generic shithole like Starbucks or something. Anyways, I arrived there at 2:45 because I wanted to be first there and I wanted to get us a good seat and also get my coffee and start in on it before she got there. I hate being the one who shows up 2nd and has to look around for the other person. She arrived at 3:05 and I must have missed her walk in, I must have turned my head for alike 2 seconds and missed her enter the place. All of a sudden she was standing over me and I had a mouth full of coffee and I nearly choked on it when I heard her say Hi and realized she was right over me. I stood up and shook her hand and told her it was nice to meet her. We sat down and then I asked her what kind of coffee she wanted and then I went and got it for her. I couldn't believe how attractive she was in real life. I mean she is not photogenic but I thought she even looked hot in her photos online but she looked so much better in person. We chatted for a few hours and I think things went reasonably well. She looked at her watch around 6pm and said she had to get going because she was going over to her family's house for dinner. So we said our goodbyes and left. I have chatted with her a few times online since then I am trying to get her to go out with me again because I really want to kiss her

My leg seems to be fully recovered now and my collarbone is much better. I still experience some pain when I sleep on it the wrong way but for the most part I am back to normal. I am still not back on the job yet, they are being really anal about making sure I am at 100% before they put me back in the roster. They said I will have to redo the training course I did years ago just to make sure I am nimble enough to navigate it effectively. I have no problem with that, I will show thee young new recruits exactly how it is done I have been sitting around the house quite a bit and I really should get out and go for a run but it seems like there is always something coming up that puts me not in the mood to run. I know I should just suck it up and go out there and deal with the pain and uncomfortableness that I will experience. No pain no gain as they say and that is exactly how it is going to feel. I am going to feel like shit inside and outside for a couple of days or maybe a week once I start to run. Maybe I will start tomorrow because there is a lot of good stuff on TV today

I have been having some decent success with the online dating thing. I met a couple of women and they are pretty cool. I have been chatting with them online - some through the dating site message center and some of them I am now chatting with over MSN. I obviously much prefer to talk over MSN because I have the benefit of talking to them in real time. The one thing that does piss me off however is that most of them type really slow and I happen to type really fast so that can throw me off sometimes and then I end up surfing while I am talking to them which isn't good because it messes up my focus when I am talking to them. Sometimes I will even watch a TV show while I am talking to them if they are really slow to respond or an uberslow typer. I didn't really hear back from any of the women I was talking to before my accident. I did hear back from some but they dropped off and never amounted to anything. There is a new girl that I met after my accident named Sharon that seems really cool. We went out for dinner on Saturday.

I told her she should meet me at 7pm at this cool place called Bricktown Brewery Restaurant. I got there at 6:50pm and grabbed a nice table so I could scope things out ahead of time and get adjusted to the environment first. She arrived at 7:05pm and I was like hmm she is 5 minutes late lol but I didn't think anything of it because maybe my watch was 5 minutes off or maybe her was. I think you need to give people at least a 5 minute leeway. I had the ribeye steak and she had the St. Louis Style Ribs. We ordered a pitcher of their beer. They are also a brewery so we had nice fresh beer which is good. I am not a huge beer drinker, I prefer vodka but not on a date. It is so much easier to just drink beer. We chatted for a while about various stuff. She works at a children's entertainment centre - those places where kids parents take them for their birthday etc. They have games and all kinds of cool stuff for kids to do. Hering her talk about her work, made me miss my own job. After dinner we had some coffee and then headed home in a taxi. I would have been happy with just saying goodnight but she grabbed my hand during the cab ride to her place so I was like oh ok she likes me, so I leaned over and started kissing her. I thought that when we got to her place she would invite me up for sure, but she said she had to get up really early in the morning tomorrow so we just called it a night. I have been chatting with her since then and we have plans to get together again this weekend

Ok well maybe I am not back from the dead, but I am back from the hospital finally. I know, I know, you are all wondering where the hell I have been for the last month and a half. I broke my leg and my collarbone the day after my last blog post. We were on scene in a building on fire when a wall basically collapsed on me and my brother Martin. I got the worst of it and he had to drag me out of that place cuz I couldn't walk. If it wasn't for him I would have died. I have saved his ass a few times though so I guess it is Karma giving me my payback. I could barely breathe from what happened to my collarbone. They made me stay in the damn hospital for so long because they were worried that my collarbone would not set properly if they let me out of there. I had to stay in bed most of the time with my leg up as well. It was cool though cuz the whole fire house came over and signed my casts and stuff and we got some nice pics for facebook.

I didn't check the internet or anything or email until this morning when I got home. I feel bad that I was not able to post anything on my blog and sorry to all those people who sent me emails to which I didn't reply. There were a bunch of messages in my inbox on the online dating site and some of the girls were pissed cuz they thought I was ignoring them and fair enough because I probably would have felt the same if I were in their shoes. I am going to send them all a message telling them what happened and if any of them are still single I assume I might get some messages back from them which would be cool.

What I really need to do though is go in and fix up my profile a bit because I read it earlier and I was like meh this could be much better. I can catch more fish with a better net I think. After I finish fixing up my profile, what I am going to do is go through the whole dating site and search and look at the new girls that have joined the site since I was away. Before I left it seemed like there were lots of new girls joining each week so I should have LOTS of different girls to browse through and send messages to. I really like my odds here. I think I can get it right now. I think I can find a woman that will understand and be able to tolerate me. I will post here more on this blog once I have done all that stuff and have something interesting to report.

I have been getting some distressed emails from Wendy. She is all like I don't understand why you don't want to talk to me anymore. I feel really bad now, and I am regretting now not cutting things off smoother or quicker like ripping off a bandaid. So today I finally sent her an email back telling her that we did not have very chemistry together and I was very candid and told her that the sex we had was not very good and that I didn't think we were going to be sexually compatible together. She replied back that she hasn't had much experience in bed and further to that she was sexually abused when she was a teenager and that was forever affected her and now she has issues.

I told her that I need to be with a woman that is sexually open minded and that I have made the mistake in the past of hooking up with a woman that was not open minded and in the end I wasn't happy and I wasn't sexually satisfied. When I was younger I didn't think that sexual compatibility was important but now that I am older I realize that it is. She said that she could learn and to be honest I am not motivated to really go down this path.

I may give her another chance but she would have to do exactly as I said and I don't know if she would be doing things just to please me or because she is actually into it. I mean, I guess if I could tell that she was genuinely into it and enjoying herself than that would be a different story.

I do feel kind of guilty because she said that she had trouble trusting guys and now that we have had sex already she says she feels like a bit of a fool for trusting me and I was like there is no reason you should not trust me. Usually I am much colder than this but this girl is getting to me and I feel bad and I kind of feel like maybe I could be the guy that frees this girl from the issues she has. Maybe I am kidding myself and maybe this is just my emotional site talking and maybe this is a big mistake. Hmm I need to think more about this decision. Good times, Good times.

I decided to stop talking to that girl Wendy. I realized that I will never be able to be happy with a girl that I am not sexually compatible with. I made this mistake in the past and after a while realized I was thinking and fantasizing about other women all the time and knew I would never be happy. When you are first with someone you don't ever imagine that something like this could become an issue until it is too late. This is how life is though, you make all kinds of mistakes when you are young and you are supposed to learn from them but many people do not ever learn. So I am trying to be smart here and avoid making the same mistake twice because then I will feel like a fool and have no one to blame for my unhappiness except myself. I have basically just started to distance myself from her rather than just send her an email and telling her exactly how I feel. I know this probably isn't the best way to go about things and that I should really be very clear with her but I just don't feel like dealing with all the potential drama right now so I am going to just let things drift apart slowly. Eventually she will get the hint and move on I am assuming.

So on to the good news! I have finally managed to score a date with the dance instructor girl named Michelle I was telling you about. I consider this a major victory in my quest to get back in the game. I am going to be taking her out on Saturday night for dinner. I need to be totally honest with you all though, I feel like I am kind of expecting to find something that I don't like about her or expecting for something to go wrong in terms of compatibility. I have this shitty feeling inside like no matter what girl I meet, I will always find something about her that is a deal breaker. I am not talking about some minor personality trait that one could easily overlook or tolerate. I am talking about something that is significant and would directly impede any happiness that we may be able to have. I know that you have to be careful in the beginning about hooking up with people that you know there are issues about that you don't like because in the beginning it is really easy to overlook these traits and to be like oh it doesn't matter, I like them so much I am sure I can tolerate this aspect of their personality. The reality is that after X period of time and it is different in every relationship, eventually the magic fairy dust will wear off and you will be left to deal with all the negative traits about the other person you had previously overlooked. I will let you all know how things go on my date with her and I will try and keep it real the best I can.

Happy new year everyone and sorry I have not been posting in this blog as often as I would have liked to. I had a great new years eve with my buddies no girls lol. Yeah I know sausage fest ftw but really it was fun. I have been out with Wendy a few times since I last posted about our epic fail date we had where we both got so hammered. Needless to say the next few times we got together we only had a few drinks and we had a much better time. We really got a chance to get to know each other. To just sit and talk and stare into each other's eyes etc. Yes we have had sex a few times and it has been pretty good. Not awesome, but pretty good. This is something that worries me. I want to make sure I am going to be with a girl that I am sexually compatible with in every way because sex is important to me and I don't want to get together with someone only to have things fall apart down the road because I was willing to overlook such an important aspect of a relationship. I am not sure if this makes any sense to you guys but lemme know by leaving some comments.

I have also been talking to this girl named Michelle who is a dance instructor. She has the most amazing body I have ever seen. It seems that girls who dance, or do yoga, or do ballet have amazing bodies because they are so disciplined in their training. They also seem to be very good in bed, at least that has been my experience. She is 26 years old and she doesn't seem to have anything wrong with her. I mean that she appears to be a very normal girl without any weird issues. I have met so many women who have weird issues that hold them back from being the women they could be. Sometimes I meet women that are so smoking hot and have everything a man could want physically but then she has serious mental issues that hold her back and would turn off any man. Then I also meet women who are not that hot but they have the most amazing personalities. I would really love to meet a woman that has the best of both worlds and I am hoping that Michelle is that girl.

I am taking things very slow with her and trying to show her that I am not just some douchebag like all the other guys out there that message her and hit on her in real life. I can tell that because this woman is so hot, you have to approach her differently. You have to prove higher value to her otherwise you don't stand a chance in hell. So that is what I am doing right now, we are simply chatting on msn and I am not making any comments that lead her to believe that I really want her and that I would do anything to get her. I am trying my best not to come across as desperate and to be honest, I am not desperate. I mean I still have Wendy as a backup so I am like feeding off the fact that I already have someone waiting in the wings and so far it seems to be working because things are progressing slowly with this girl and I think she is starting to like me. I know she already thinks I am cute, and that I guess physically I am good enough for her but she gets hit on all the time by guys that she is attracted to and I think she is looking for something beyond that, something that makes me stand out more than the next guy. I will update things as more happens.

That flight attendant Wendy and I went out for dinner on Friday. She said we should get together for dinner and then we picked the restaurant and then I met her there because we both took taxis there. I don't know if that means she took me out or if I took her out. I am still confused by the whole thing and I am not sure if I am playing the game properly. Anyhoo here is how it went down.

I wanted to take her some place that wasn't fancy and some place that was very different. I decided to take her to a place called Cafe Antigua after reading a great review about the place here. The place is small and subtle but the food was excellent. They server breakfast dishes all day and we both had their specialty breakfast. Next time I take her out I will move up to a more fancy restaurant but this place was great for our first date because I didn't have to act all stuffy or worry that other pretentious people would be staring at me.

Wendy was totally into the place and I was glad because I am really looking for a down to earth low maintenance type of girl. We talked the entire time we were there, before and after we ate. She works for a major airline carrier and she does domestic and international flights. I have not flown much in my life and told her I was kind of scared of flying and she laughed and said most people are and not to worry about it. I could totally picture her in her flight attendant uniform and was thinking she must get hit on a lot by the male passengers.

I asked her if she was scared about the potential problems of terrorists etc and she said that she wasn't and that she had a strong belief in God and said if God chose for her to die on an airplane then so be it. I thought this was an interesting attitude to have and I sort of envied her because my belief is not that strong and I still get scared. I know that sounds kind of odd coming from someone who risks his life on a daily basis fighting fires but it's true. I think that we are all balanced in that way. We are good at one thing and weak at another thing, or we are scared of one thing and fearless towards another.

We only had a couple of drinks each during dinner. I don't really drink that much and she said she didn't drink very often either. I wasn't sure what to do or say once we paid the bill and we were just sitting there when she piped up and asked "what's next?" I was like, I dunno what do you want to do? It was only about 7:30pm. She said she wanted to go dancing because she had not been in a long time and I was like well it's Christmas day and I doubt anything is open. She said well let's just go back to your place then instead and I nearly fell out of my seat. She said we could dance there and I was thinking well I don't really dance but how can I say no.

We left the restaurant and headed to my place in a taxi. The whole time I was thinking, I don't have any dance music so I brought it up in the taxi and she laughed and said that is what the internet is for silly. So when we go to my place she took my laptop and plugged it into my stereo which I didn't even realize I could do and she started to play some dance music. I made her a drink - she said she wanted vodka with some kind of juice and the only juice I had was cranberry juice so I just poured both liquids into a giant pitcher, threw in some ice and brought it out. It was pretty strong, I should have put in less vodka. She was drinking it pretty fast and I warned her to take it easy but she just laughed and told me that I worried too much.

I felt like a bit of an idiot standing in my living room dancing with this girl as if we were dancing alone in an empty club but I eventually loosened up and was dancing relaxed with her having a good time. I don't know how many hours went by of us just drinking, laughing, and dancing but at some point I had to go the washroom and I could barely stand up straight. I was wondering how she was doing when I heard coughing coming from outside the bathroom. I left the bathroom and went into the kitchen to find her puking in my kitchen sink. I walked in and was like ahhh and I went to stand beside her and help her and she just slumped off the kitchen sink and onto the floor. Luckily I cushioned her fall otherwise she could have hurt herself. I scooped her up and took her into the spare bedroom and dumped her on the bed. Then I stumbled to my own room, closed the door, lied down and passed out.

I awoke to the sound of her knocking on the door. I told her I would be out in a minute. I left my bedroom and went to the kitchen where she was sitting drinking some coffee. I gave her a look and we both just laughed. I sat down and had some coffee and we laughed about the night before. She said she needed to get home and get cleaned up and go back to sleep because she was so hungover. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and called her a taxi. Then I went back to bed myself lol. I have talked to her a few times online since then and I think she wants to get together again some time soon but maybe we won't drink as much this time lol.

Why is it that I can go into a burning inferno of a house with the frame falling down all around me and toxic black smoke everywhere and I can be totally fine and relaxed, but some gorgeous girl in a supermarket rubs elbows with me in the checkout aisle of the supermarket and I nearly go into convulsions. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I know she was talking to me, saying or asking me something, but I could hear nothing but soft music playing and her mouthing the words to something totally foreign. Then all of a sudden I snapped back to reality and she was standing there waiting for my reply to which I simply muttered "I'm sorry" and turned around and started to mess with the gum and the other small items they use to taunt you as you check out. Do I need more AA batteries? Do I ever need more AA batteries? Who buys this stuff?

When I meet girls online it allows me to buffer my ridiculous anxiety I feel because I can hide behind my computer screen and I have a chance to catch my breathe and think like a normal functioning humanoid. Man my eyes feel itchy right now as I type this. I hate typing at night because my eyes get all sticky and they hurt and I am like grr boo blah this damn computer. I digress. Meeting girls online is about all I can handle. I like to take... let me rephrase that... I need to take things very slow with women because I am a social retard. Ok maybe I am being too hard on myself. God I hope no one from the station reads this blog and realizes who I am.

Sometimes I think about butterflies and why they are here. Sometimes I ponder the effects of gravity and wonder why gravity is such a weak force compared to the other forces that we are aware of.

I wrote a poem for you guys about meeting girls online.

Fire Guy Online:

I fight fires, during the day,
I meet girls at night, who are not gay.
You meet girls, at a club,
I meet them online, from my tub.

fin

I met a stewardess err well I guess they are called flight attendants now. Her name is Wendy and she has long blonde hair and she reminds me of a barbie doll. But I mean the old style dolls not the new slutty looking ones they have now. She wants to take me out for dinner on Friday but aren't I supposed to take her out? I mean is there a difference? What if we just meet at the restaurant? Who is taking who in that situation. Relationships are so damned confusing.

My name is Keith. I am firefighter. I am very dedicated my job. My job is everything to me. I am 28 years old and I have been a fireman since I was 23. My dad was fireman and his dad was a fireman. My dad made go to University and get a degree before he would let me become a firefighter. I got my degree in electrical engineering just so I would please him. All I have ever really wanted to do is to become a firefighter and make my dad proud. When I left school, I received many high paying offers to be an engineer but I turned them all down so I could fight fire and save lives and make my dad and my community proud. I have 4 brothers and they are all firefighters as well. It is a great thing to have them around me all the time and to have them watching over me. I am the 2nd youngest of all 5 of us. My dad was on scene at the bombing of 96 and it really touched him. I think it touched all of us and made our bond stronger. My father is the fire chief of our department. Everyone loves him and he loves everyone.

I have never had a long term relationship because of my job. My job does not allow me the hours and freedoms to go out and mingle at dance clubs or bars. I do not have time for that stuff plus most of the guys I know that have girlfriends are not happy. The only ones I know that are happy have girlfriends who will tolerate the stuff we do as men. They understand when we need to go fishing for the whole weekend or if we just have to pack and head off to Vegas on a whim.

I am kind of lonely and I decided the only way I would be able to have the time to meet women would be to do it online so last week I joined an online dating site so I could meet local girls who live here in Oklahoma. So far it has been an interesting experience and I have engaged the company of a few females. They all seem to be fans of men in uniforms. I do not go out on many dates but I have been reading some websites that explain how to do it. I am working on a couple of girls and trying to take them out on dates to restaurants.